A Love Letter to New Moms

I know firsthand how brutal and beautiful postpartum can be. When I had my daughter in 2022, I was a young mom who thought I was prepared for what was coming. I was determined to breastfeed exclusively, clinging to the belief that I would recover quickly and seamlessly step into motherhood. I thought it would be natural and easy to pick up. I had no idea how much I didn’t know.

As a newborn care specialist, I was surrounded by babies every day. But nothing—nothing—prepared me for the raw, unfiltered reality of postpartum. I had seen countless mothers navigate those early days, yet I never truly understood the depth of their exhaustion, the silent struggles they carried, and the way society expects them to smile through it all. I thought I knew everything I needed to know. I was so, so wrong.

I was induced at 38 weeks due to preeclampsia. My induction went as planned with minimal complications, however my daughter’s clavicle was broken during birth. Then, just hours after birth, she was diagnosed with a pulmonary heart defect—something no scan had caught. Within 2 hours of birth, I was consumed with guilt and blamed myself for her complications. I tried to latch her as soon as possible after birth, but she was in too much pain to nurse. A nurse handed me a pump and a nipple shield, offering little guidance beyond instructions to “figure it out” every two hours. My colostrum was barely there, but I obeyed, desperate to do everything right.

The next day, the hospital’s lactation consultant visited. She had 30 other moms to see and only ten minutes for me. She told me I wasn’t trying hard enough, then roughly forced my crying newborn onto my breast. When she couldn’t get her to latch either, she told me to pump and book an appointment with a private lactation consultant. Hours later, I was discharged— completely consumed by guilt and shame. At home, I continued pumping and attempting to latch her, but my output wasn’t enough. By day two, she was inconsolable with hunger. My husband, who had never even held a newborn before she was born, was trying his hardest, but we were drowning.

That first night home, I found myself crumpled on the kitchen floor in a diaper, with stitches in places I couldn’t even bring myself to look at in the mirror, and pumps hooked to my boobs like sucker fish while holding a sample can of formula—the one I swore I’d never need but had kept “just in case.” Listening to her cry, something inside me broke. That night, I fed my baby formula.

The guilt was soul-crushing. It shouldn’t have been. The harmful rhetoric that "breast is best" or that a mother should only give her newborn breastmilk without thought for the mother's best interest, is what led me to treating my postpartum body like a dairy cow. With no thought for my humanity or respect for my body that just created life, and roared her into the world. 

The moment she drank that bottle, she slept for hours. And for the first time in days, so did I.

When I woke up, I had rested enough to look at things rationally. (Sometimes sleep really does fix A LOT). I booked an appointment with a lactation consultant, who gave me pointers on adjusting my pump even before I saw her. That day, my milk came in, and I was able to feed my daughter.

We worked tirelessly for months, overcoming latch issues, pain, and frustration. After her clavicle healed and we addressed her lip tie, we finally got the hang of breastfeeding. We nursed for almost a year. But in those 12 months, I did it all—I exclusively pumped, exclusively breastfed, combo-fed with formula, and eventually transitioned fully to formula when I dried up at 11 months. It was one of the most grueling, emotional, and transformative experiences of my life. I wouldn’t change any of it. Every struggle, every tear, every moment of doubt led me to where I am now: devoted to caring for postpartum mothers and their babies. But I will never forget the desperation, the loneliness, and the guilt the first few weeks of motherhood came with.

To the new mom reading this: You are not alone. You are not failing. Your worth is not measured by ounces or schedules or expectations placed upon you by others. You are the perfect mother for your baby, no matter how you choose to feed them, no matter how many times you feel like you’re stumbling in the dark. Trust yourself. Lean on those who lift you up. Give yourself the grace you so freely give to others. And please, please remember—you deserve rest, care, and support just as much as your baby does. Moms should never be judged for how they feed their babies, every situation is different and it is never easy. There is so much nuance in discussions surrounding feeding because it is so different with every mom and baby and it is such an intuitive, sacred act. 

For my moms who deliver babies with health complications: You need to know, there is nothing you did that caused this. Holding onto guilt for something that is out of your control steals your joy, and you, my friend, deserve all the joy and love the world has to offer. You will be strong for your baby, you will do absolutely everything in your power to give them the best shot at life. I know this, because you already have in pregnancy. Your track record is amazing! Strength comes with time and experience in this world, and your strength will only grow with each obstacle thrown your way on this journey. We’re mothers, we will endure. You will learn that your strength is far more expansive than you ever knew. You are not alone.

This is my story, but it carries the echoes of the pain and primal instincts of mothers everywhere. Postpartum should be a time of healing, not of guilt and shame. Mothers need and deserve support during their postpartum journey just as much as their babies. As a postpartum doula, my purpose is to care for you as a mother, so that you can rest and recover for you AND your baby. To sit with you in the quiet moments in the middle of the night when the world expects you to be strong, and remind you that you already are, and you are not alone. To help you trust your intuition, because it has always been there, even when the noise of expectation drowns it out.

I often wonder how different my story could have been with more support, more education, more compassion. With every fiber of my being, I hope I can be that difference for the mothers I am privileged to serve.

A Postpartum Doula’s Guide to Safe Sleep

Safe Sleep for Newborns: A Postpartum Doula’s Guide

As a postpartum doula and newborn care specialist, I know that safe sleep is one of the biggest concerns for new parents. The early days with your little one are filled with joy, exhaustion, and so many questions. My goal is to offer gentle, reassuring guidance to help you create a safe and nurturing sleep space for your baby.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provides recommendations to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related concerns. Let’s walk through the essentials of safe sleep together, so you can rest easier knowing your baby is sleeping safely.

The ABCs of Safe Sleep

An easy way to remember safe sleep guidelines is the ABC rule:

• Alone: Your baby should have their own sleep space, free from pillows, blankets, bumpers, or stuffed animals.

• Back: Always place your baby on their back for every sleep, including naps.

• Crib: Use a firm, flat sleep surface like a crib, bassinet, or play yard with a fitted sheet and no extra bedding.

Gentle Tips for Safe Sleep

• Room-sharing, not bed-sharing: Keeping your baby close, but in their own sleep space, for at least the first six months can help reduce the risk of SIDS while still allowing you to be near.

• Keep baby comfortable, but not too warm: Dress your little one in light sleepwear and maintain a comfortable room temperature to prevent overheating.

• Use a firm, flat sleep surface: Though inclined sleepers and loungers may seem cozy, they are not safe for unsupervised sleep. Babies sleep best on a firm, flat surface.

• Pacifiers can be a helpful tool: If your baby enjoys one, offering a pacifier at sleep time has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS.

• Supervised tummy time during the day: This helps strengthen your baby’s muscles and reduces the risk of flat spots on their head.

Addressing Common Sleep Myths with Compassion

• “My baby sleeps better on their stomach.” While some babies may seem to settle more easily this way, back-sleeping is the safest option. It significantly reduces the risk of SIDS.

• “I need to use a blanket to keep my baby warm.” Instead of loose blankets, a sleep sack or wearable blanket provides warmth while keeping your baby safe.

• “A little extra padding makes the crib more comfortable.” While it’s natural to want your baby to be cozy, soft surfaces increase the risk of suffocation. A firm mattress with a fitted sheet is the safest choice.

How a Postpartum Doula Supports Safe Sleep

As a postpartum doula, I’m here to help parents feel confident about their baby’s sleep. Whether it’s setting up a safe sleep space, answering your questions, or simply offering reassurance when the nights feel long, my goal is to support you with kindness and understanding.

You’re doing an incredible job, and safe sleep doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By following these simple guidelines, you can create a secure and comforting environment for your little one. If you have any questions, know that you’re not alone—there’s a whole community here to support you.

I’d love to hear from you! What questions do you have about newborn sleep? Drop them in the comments or reach out—I’m here to help.

Envisioning Your Ideal Postpartum

Envisioning Your Ideal Postpartum: A Gentle Guide to Creating a Nurturing Experience

The postpartum period is a time of profound transformation—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yet, so often, the focus is placed entirely on birth preparation, leaving new parents feeling unprepared for what comes next. As a postpartum doula, I believe in honoring this transition with as much care and intention as birth itself. With the right support in place, your journey into parenthood can feel more peaceful, empowering, and filled with love.

Honoring the Postpartum Journey

Postpartum is not just about healing from birth—it’s about stepping into a new chapter of life with grace and support. It’s about bonding with your baby, adjusting to new rhythms, and making space for your own well-being. Taking time to envision your ideal postpartum experience can help you feel more grounded, supported, and nurtured during this precious time.

Creating a Plan for a Gentle & Supported Postpartum

1. Physical Recovery & Rest

Your body has done something truly incredible, and it deserves deep care and rest. Consider:

• Setting up a cozy, restful space where you can heal and bond with your baby.

• Having nourishing meals prepared ahead of time or accepting meals from loved ones.

• Allowing yourself to receive help with household tasks so you can focus on what matters most—your well-being and your baby.

2. Emotional Well-Being & Mental Health

The postpartum period is filled with emotions, and it’s okay to experience a range of feelings. Planning for emotional well-being can be an act of self-compassion. Think about:

• Identifying trusted friends or family members who can offer a listening ear and gentle encouragement.

• Reaching out to a therapist or postpartum support group if you need extra emotional support.

• Prioritizing small, soothing moments for yourself—whether it’s a quiet cup of tea, a warm bath, or a deep breath in fresh air.

3. Building a Loving Support System

You were never meant to do this alone. Support comes in many forms, and leaning on others is a strength, not a weakness:

• A postpartum doula can provide hands-on care, newborn guidance, and emotional support tailored to your needs.

• Your partner, family members, or close friends can help with meals, errands, or tending to older siblings.

• Connecting with other new parents in local or online communities can remind you that you are not alone in this journey.

4. Caring for Your Baby & Finding Your Rhythm

Newborn care can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to figure it all out overnight. Giving yourself grace as you learn is just as important as practical preparation:

• Understanding newborn sleep patterns and setting gentle expectations.

• Arranging for help during the night if possible, whether from a partner, family member, or doula.

• Creating a peaceful, safe sleep environment where your baby can rest comfortably.

5. Nourishment & Hydration

Your body needs gentle care and nourishment as you recover. Consider:

• Preparing or requesting nutrient-dense meals that support postpartum healing.

• Keeping easy, wholesome snacks nearby for quick energy boosts.

• Staying hydrated, especially if you’re breastfeeding, to help replenish your body.

Crafting Your Postpartum Vision with Love

A beautiful way to prepare for postpartum is to reflect on your hopes and needs:

1. How do you want to feel in the first few weeks after birth?

2. Who in your life can offer love, support, and encouragement?

3. What resources or professionals can you have in place for extra guidance?

4. What small, daily comforts can bring you moments of peace and joy?

While postpartum may not always go exactly as planned, having a framework of support and self-compassion can help you navigate this transition with more ease and confidence.

A Postpartum Doula’s Gentle Support

As a postpartum doula, my role is to walk beside you in this sacred transition, offering warm guidance, practical care, and a compassionate presence. Whether you need reassurance, newborn care support, or simply a gentle reminder that you are doing an amazing job, I am here for you.

You deserve to be cared for, honored, and supported in your postpartum journey. By planning ahead, you can create a space for healing, love, and connection.

What are your hopes for your postpartum experience? I’d love to hear from you—share in the comments or reach out for support. You are never alone on this journey.

Benefits of Hiring a Postpartum Doula

The Benefits of Hiring a Postpartum Doula: A Compassionate Guide to Support & Care

Welcoming a new baby into your life is a beautiful, transformative experience, but it can also be overwhelming. The postpartum period is often filled with a mix of joy, exhaustion, and adjustment as you recover from birth and get to know your baby. While this time can be incredibly special, it can also come with challenges that leave new parents feeling uncertain or isolated. This is where a postpartum doula can make a meaningful difference.

As a postpartum doula, my role is to nurture, guide, and empower new parents during this delicate transition. My goal is to provide emotional support, practical assistance, and evidence-based education so you can navigate postpartum with confidence and ease. Let’s explore the many ways a postpartum doula can bring comfort and support to your journey.

1. Emotional & Mental Well-Being

The postpartum period brings a range of emotions, from immense love and joy to moments of self-doubt and fatigue. A postpartum doula provides:

• A compassionate presence to listen and validate your feelings.

• Encouragement and reassurance as you adjust to life with a newborn.

• Gentle guidance in recognizing the signs of postpartum mood disorders and support in seeking additional care if needed.

2. Physical Recovery & Rest

Your body has just done something incredible, and healing takes time. A postpartum doula can:

• Support your physical recovery by reminding you to rest and nourish your body.

• Assist with light household tasks so you can focus on healing.

• Offer gentle guidance on postpartum care and comfort measures.

3. Newborn Care Education & Confidence Building

Caring for a newborn comes with a learning curve, and every baby is unique. A postpartum doula provides:

• Hands-on education in newborn care, including diapering, feeding, and soothing techniques.

• Support with infant sleep strategies that align with safe sleep guidelines.

• A judgment-free space to ask questions and gain confidence in your parenting instincts.

4. Breastfeeding & Infant Feeding Support

Whether you choose to breastfeed, formula-feed, or use a combination of both, feeding your baby can come with challenges. A postpartum doula offers:

• Basic breastfeeding support, including latching techniques and positioning.

• Guidance on bottle feeding, paced feeding, and choosing the best feeding approach for your family.

• Emotional support as you navigate your feeding journey, without pressure or judgment.

5. Practical Support for Daily Life

The transition to parenthood affects all aspects of daily life. A postpartum doula helps by:

• Assisting with meal preparation and ensuring you have nourishing foods available.

• Providing light household help to create a peaceful, tidy environment.

• Helping to care for older siblings, creating space for you to bond with your newborn.

6. A Non-Judgmental, Compassionate Presence

One of the most valuable aspects of postpartum doula support is knowing you have someone by your side who offers kindness, encouragement, and understanding.

• There are no “right” or “wrong” ways to parent—only what works best for your family.

• A postpartum doula respects your choices and supports your journey without judgment.

• The focus is always on making sure you feel nurtured, heard, and supported.

Investing in Your Well-Being

Hiring a postpartum doula is an investment in your well-being, your baby’s well-being, and your family’s overall transition into this new stage of life. The care and support you receive during the postpartum period can have a lasting impact, helping you feel more confident, rested, and cared for.

You deserve support, and you don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a few visits to check in or ongoing care for the first few weeks, a postpartum doula can be a gentle, reassuring presence during this transformative time.

Let’s Talk About Your Postpartum Needs

If you’re curious about how a postpartum doula could support you, I’d love to chat. Every family’s needs are unique, and together, we can create a plan that feels right for you. Reach out, and let’s make sure you feel nurtured, empowered, and cared for in your postpartum journey.

You are not alone—support is here for you.

The Importance of the 5-5-5 Rule Postpartum

The 5-5-5 Rule: A Gentle Approach to Postpartum Healing

The postpartum period is a time of immense change—physically, emotionally, and mentally. While there’s often a strong focus on birth preparation, recovery after birth is just as important. In many cultures, there is an emphasis on rest and healing during the first few weeks postpartum, allowing new mothers the space to recover and bond with their baby. One simple yet powerful guideline to support postpartum healing is the 5-5-5 rule—a gentle reminder to prioritize rest and recovery in the crucial early weeks after birth.

As a postpartum doula, I often encourage families to embrace this rule as a way to foster healing, balance, and overall well-being. Let’s explore what the 5-5-5 rule is and why it can make a meaningful difference in your postpartum experience.

What Is the 5-5-5 Rule?

The 5-5-5 rule is a simple, structured approach to postpartum healing that encourages new mothers to prioritize rest and recovery during the first 15 days after birth:

• 5 days IN the bed – Focus on rest, skin-to-skin bonding with your baby, and minimal movement.

• 5 days ON the bed – Begin to move around gently while still prioritizing rest.

• 5 days NEAR the bed – Gradually ease into daily routines while continuing to limit strenuous activity.

Why Is the 5-5-5 Rule Important?

In today’s fast-paced culture, there is often pressure to “bounce back” quickly after birth. However, rushing postpartum recovery can lead to exhaustion, increased stress, and even delayed healing. The 5-5-5 rule encourages a more mindful approach, allowing the body and mind the necessary time to adjust and recover.

1. Physical Healing

Your body goes through incredible changes during pregnancy and birth. Resting allows:

• Your uterus to contract and return to its pre-pregnancy size.

• Tissues and muscles to heal, reducing the risk of complications like excessive bleeding.

• Energy levels to stabilize, preventing long-term fatigue.

2. Emotional & Mental Well-Being

The postpartum period can bring a range of emotions, from overwhelming love to moments of self-doubt or anxiety. Prioritizing rest can:

• Reduce stress and feelings of being overwhelmed.

• Create a peaceful environment to bond with your baby.

• Help regulate postpartum mood changes, including baby blues and postpartum depression.

3. Bonding with Baby

The early days with your newborn are a precious time for connection. Following the 5-5-5 rule helps:

• Encourage uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact, which promotes bonding and breastfeeding success.

• Allow parents to focus on learning their baby’s cues and establishing a rhythm.

• Reduce external stressors so the entire family can transition smoothly into this new chapter.

How to Embrace the 5-5-5 Rule

Embracing the 5-5-5 rule is easier with a solid support system in place. Here are some ways to implement it:

• Ask for help – Let your partner, family, or friends assist with household tasks, meal preparation, and childcare for older siblings.

• Set up a restful space – Keep essentials like water, snacks, diapers, and baby supplies within reach.

• Work with a postpartum doula – A doula can provide hands-on support, ensuring you feel nurtured and cared for during recovery.

• Give yourself grace – There’s no rush to “get back to normal.” Your body deserves this time to heal.

Honoring Your Postpartum Recovery

The 5-5-5 rule isn’t about strict rules or limitations—it’s about honoring your body’s needs and allowing yourself the care and rest you truly deserve. By giving yourself permission to slow down, accept help, and focus on healing, you create a foundation of strength and well-being for both yourself and your baby.

If you’re expecting or currently navigating postpartum, consider how you can incorporate this approach into your recovery plan. You are worthy of rest, care, and support during this sacred time.

Would you like personalized guidance on your postpartum journey? I’d love to help—reach out to learn how I can support you in your healing and transition into motherhood.